THE ART OF TRANSCENDING DIFFERENCES
every profane word to describe his whiteness. Many people treated him very poorly because of the color of his skin. This experience completely changed his perspective. Being the only white manager in a predominantly black working culture gave him a taste of what it is probably like for a black man in a mostly white society.
I would not understand this until much later in life, but watching this as I grew into a man strongly influenced my behavior, worldview, and certainly, my life’s work. I experienced my father embrace others of a different skin color and begin to develop deep and meaningful friendships with many men and women who looked different than us. My dad was respected and included in this work culture. He recounted with me on occasion that some of the closest friendships he had were with men from Super Allied. This position provided for the family until I was long out of the house.
While this position changed my father’s viewpoint, subsequently it changed mine as well. Because of his example, it became easy for me to accept, befriend, include, and even champion the backgrounds and people who looked different than me.
Mr. Kerns retired after some time, and another man named Obadiah Schmidt Jr. had taken over the Super Allied local markets. My father was not only able to keep the level of respect with the new CEO but also became very close friends with him.
Two other great men became pivotal in my dad’s life—Quentin Murray and Ted Knox. They befriended him and gave him counsel that allowed him to grow in his relationships. Many years later, my dad still gets together for lunch with these men who played such a huge role in his life. Not only that but when Super Allied closed down because of national chains taking over, Quentin Murray, who had since moved on from Super Allied, was vital in my dad moving over to another manager position at another supermarket, Food King.
The racism my dad endured during some of those days was incredibly difficult. It could have driven him into hate and separation, but the relationships he developed and still has today became the example to me of what it means to treat every person with respect and dignity. His example to me of humility and perseverance in relationships has influenced my life and has shaped some of the topics in this book.
He served others even when they were pouring out profanities to his face because of what he looked like. He learned the art of forgiveness and the impor- tance of not holding a grudge—two essential aspects of relationship necessary to live a healthy life.